How to prevent that “here’s an ang bao for you,” only to realize she’s married

Anyone who is married in Singapore or Malaysia would have this experience during Chinese New Year: a friend’s friend, or someone whom you’re not familiar with, visits you. She’s about twenty to thirty, but you really can’t tell how old she is.

You wonder whether to give her an ang bao or not. What if she’s married? It’ll be weird. What if she’s not? She’ll think that you’re stingy.

You hesitate, think and hesitate…and by the time you’ve made the decision, she’s gone.

Now, here’s the solution that’s so simple and accurate, you won’t need to “beo” at her wedding finger anymore (which, by the way, isn’t that accurate as well).

Simply do this: don’t spend your time on your phone and mingle with her. Don’t think—just talk, and ask.

I know this is like the stupidest solution ever, but if you ever need to come in to read this and hope to find a solution that is magically workable, it just shows that you might not have the courage, or even the basic skills, to communicate effectively.

All it takes is a simple, “Eh, so, you married?” that not only starts the ball rolling for the conversation to begin, but also let you know whether you should give her an ang bao.

Some people resorted to asking around instead of just talking direct to the real party. While that works, it just shows that you’ve missed the spirit of Chinese New Year: to chat with not just your friends, but new friends, too.

So next time, stop using Facebook to determine whether one is married. Do it face-to-face, especially now that we’re all losing that basic skill. You’ll thank us later.

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